The difference: Liberals, Conservatives, & Southerners ?

[Master Tech Dude]

How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives
and
Southerners? Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two
small children.
Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and
charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You
have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?



Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything
to him that
would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my
wife think?
What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club
and knock
the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this
situation?

Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message
does this
send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be
happy with just
killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just
to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get
away while he
was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a
paint and
weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would
discourage
such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some
friends for a few
days and try to come to a consensus.



Conservative Answer:

BANG!



Southerner's Answer :

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click...
(sounds of reloading).

Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you
kids think?"

Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it, too."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Oh Yeah!...I almost forgot to leave this...It's a very funny take on our "best" presidential candidates.
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[Breslauer]

When you have shot and killed a man you have in some measure clarified your attitude toward him. You have given a definite answer to a definite problem. For better or worse you have acted decisively.
In a way, the next move is up to him.