The New Vocabulary

[Master Tech Dude]

NEW WORDS FOR 2004 and beyond - Essential additions for the
workplace
> vocabulary:
>
>
>
> BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a
deadline was
> missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
>
> SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of
noise, craps on
> everything and then leaves. Also can be applied to Corporate
folk!
>
> ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb
success and
> advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working
hard.
>
> SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day
swimming upstream
> only to get screwed and die in the end.
>
> CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.
>
> PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something
loudly in a cube
> farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's
going on.
>
> MOUSE POTATO: The on-line answer to the couch potato.
>
> SITACOM: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
What yuppies
> turn into when they have children and one of them stops
working to stay
> home with the kids.
>
> STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in
divorce with
> no kids, no property and no regrets.
>
> STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being
stressed out and
> whiny.
>
> SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered
useless because
> the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
>
> XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from
one's
> workplace.
>
> IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are
annoying but
> you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J.
trial was a
> prime example. Bill Clinton's Grand Jury testimony is
another.
>
> PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the shit
out of an
> electronic device to get it to work again.
>
> VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to
reach all the
> appropriate keys for some computer commands.
>
> ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning
just above
the
> rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are
often
> profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they
were designed
> to solve.
>
> 404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error
message "404
> Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located.
>
> GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are
exactly the same
no
> matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls,
subdivisions.
>
> OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you
realize that
> you've just made a BIG mistake.
>
> WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks
>

[tac]

QUOTE:
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the s*** out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.

I learned this technique from my father on our old tube-type TV when I was but a wee lad. There was a real skill in whacking it just hard enough to get it working but not knowcking everything out of kilter so much that it was permenantly damaged.

TAC