On the front 9

[tac]

Charlie and Mike are out playing 18 holes of golf....
Mike is up first and gives his ball a great whack...
But... it begins to slice to the left and disappears into the woods...

Charlie laughs at him and says “Boy, that shot sucks, watch this...”
So Charlie lines up his shot and, with a mighty swing, smashes
it into the air... but... his ball also begins to slice to the left and
goes into the woods just like Mike’s shot...
So... they both gather up their clubs and head down into
the woods to try and find their balls...

As he’s thrashing around in the woods trying to find his ball...
Mike parts the bushes and suddenly he sees his ball lying in a
beautiful little patch of Buttercups... The flowers smell sweet and
Mike takes it as a good sign... so he lines up his shot and is about
to swing away when...

Suddenly a voice comes out of nowhere and says “Don’t hit the ball”
Mike is stunned. He looks around but he doesn’t see anyone...
He decides it was just his imagination so he again lines up his shot
and is about to swing when the voice comes back...“Don’t hit the ball”

Mike freezes and looks around carefully, but again, he sees no one...
As he lines up his shot once more, the voice comes back stronger...
“DON’T HIT THE BALL”

It suddenly occurs to him that the voice is probably Charlie hiding
in the bushes messing with him... So, ignoring the voice, and
with a mighty swing.. Mike drives the ball out of the woods
with a mighty... Whack!

Buttercups fill the air as Mike slashes the flowers all to hell and his
ball lands two feet from the cup...

Out of nowhere a beautiful lady in shimmering white appears and says...
“Look what you did to my Buttercups!”

“I told you not to hit the ball and now you’ve destroyed my Buttercups...”

Because of this, for the rest of your life, you’ll never be able to enjoy
butter again. Just touching butter will make you sick to your stomach;
even the site of butter will give you cramps....
because of what you did to my Buttercups.”...
and then she disappears....

As he’s trying to figure out if what he just saw... really happened...
He looks up and sees Charlie rustling around in the bushes for his ball...
Mike calls out to Charlie... “Hey Charlie, did you find your ball?”

Charlie yells back, “Yea, it’s over here in the Pussy Willows...”

In desperation Mike screams back at him... “DON’T HIT THE BALL...!”